My Favorite Books on Singleness

Reading books has been a huge catalyst in transforming my life and growing good Godly character on a regular basis! I wanted to share the most life changing books I read during my single season :)

top-books-for-singles

Sacred Singleness

by Leslie Ludy

“There will be times when you will have to give up your dreams and desires, but the Lord will place within you His own dreams and His desires for your life.”

This was one of the first books on singleness that I read. I was skeptical at first for a few reasons …
1st – I was worried that all singles books were cheesy (spoiler alert: most of them are!)
2nd – Leslie Lady who wrote it was married at 18, so I wondered if she could actually teach me something having never truly experiencing singleness later in life.

I can tell you that I was pleasantly surprised! This book changed my outlook on singleness greatly, but even more than that, it changed my perspective on experiencing intimacy with the Lord. She emphasized this unique time that singles have that allows for such undivided attention and devotion to the Lord and made me realize that this was a gift in and of itself. It made me anxious to take advantage of this opportunity because I didn’t know how long it would last. It may have actually been the fact that she was married young, that helped me to believe her when she said that one day I would look back with fondness on those times!

Sacred Search

by Gary Thomas

“Our search for a life mate, then isn’t one of desperation, but rather one of patiently looking for someone with whom we can share God’s love and live out God’s purpose.”

The topic of this book is on the search for a spouse and the dating process and I felt like that made it more unique to me than other books on singleness. Gary cautions between the extremes of pursuing marriage above all else and avoiding it or not being open to it.  He gave permission to desire marriage and even pursue it in a way. Although I believe the guy should lead the pursuit, he explains that we are not forced to have a completely passive role.

Gary-Thomas-Sacred-Search-2Gary also points out different things to consider when deciding on the person you should marry. He covers a range of topics and encourages you to keep your standards high as far as the character and spirituality of the other person, and also reminds us that there isn’t any biblical backing for “soulmates”. Because of that you can marry anyone who meets the standards he mentions. I probably have an opinion slightly different in that I believe that any 2 Christians could get together and have a beautiful, happy marriage, but that there are some who are more compatible and more designed for you than others. I also think it’s important, as you read through the standards, to keep in mind that you will never find a perfect person. The goal is to find an individual who is committed to the Lord and growing in that relationship and relying on Him for everything. But all in all, I really did like this book and felt like it brought up unique things that I hadn’t read in terms of the dating world and pursuit of marriage.

Man of God

by Charles Stanley

“The Lord declared Himself the source of everything the first man would ever need.”

This book by Charles Stanley is actually meant for men, but I found it so helpful as a single women who was in the dating scene! Stanley showed me a detailed description of what it meant to be a man of God and what I should be looking for in a mate. It helped me to take the emphasis off the superficial and shallow traits that we are immediately drawn (or repelled by) and focus on  the things of the heart. A husband of good character is worth so much more and will make for an easier and more beautiful marriage over just the good looking, funny guy with no depth.

I’ll give one caution though… This is not meant to be one of those lists for your future husband.  That would be impossible to attain and set you up for inevitable disappointment. But for those who are struggling with settling for relationships that are unequally yoked it is a good reminder of what God actually desires for our relationships and for the men we attach ourselves to. (P.S. I’ll have a blog post later this month about finding the line between settling for less and being super picky!)

the Bible

“The things that most people think are important are worthless as far as God is concerned.”
Luke 16:15b

I feel weird putting this on the list, but then I felt weird leaving it off so here it is. LOL!

When I was single there weren’t a ton of books on singleness out there that weren’t cheesy. Lucky for you, there are a few more options now! But my biggest resource for encouragement during my single years was the Bible. I don’t say that as a Sunday school answer, but it is the honest truth. Scripture has a way of going deeper than any words from an author and it impacted me to my core. It changed me.

As I read through the Bible, I devoured everything word through the eyes of a single woman seeking encouragement specifically for my season. Because of that, I believe my eyes were opened to new truths that I never considered that challenged me to view singleness in a dramatically different way.

All that I learned through the Scriptures I put in the Wholeheartedly devotional. It’s the reason that you will find scripture saturating the pages. It is not meant to replace the Bible, but to guide you to certain verses and help you see how they relate to your singleness!

EXTRAS

(These are books that I hadn’t read yet, but have been suggested to me!)
In the Wait, Still Waiting, Let’s All Be Brave, Wait & See, The Single Woman, The Chase : Trusting God with Your Happily Ever After, Who’s Picking Me Up From The Airport, I Don’t Wait Anymore, Dating Like Airplanes, Get Lost, Lady in Waiting, Sex & the Single Christian Girl

Have you read any of these?! What did you think? And share what has been the most encouraging for you!! Check out the last post in this month long series for Singles – “Why Am I Still Single?”

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  • Really digging these recommendations! I swing between absolutely loving my singleness in Christ to wondering where my pre-Christ “game” went. I just started “The Sacred Search” and I like the biblical examples Gary Thomas uses to dispel the concept of a “soulmate.” It’s also great that there’s a 7-day reading plan for the book on the YouVersion app!