Its crazy to even think about where I was 6 months ago when I wrote that first blog post. I had been in a place of deep fellowship with the Lord and had been spending tons of time in His Word. I just wanted a place to get all my thoughts out and maybe find a few people to discuss things with. I had no idea that just a few weeks later I would finally get a call from God for me during this time.
The idea for “Wholeheartedly – A Devotional for Singles” was born, with some suggestion/prodding from my sister (you can read the dramatics that it was in the Extras Part of the devotional. :) ). Once she mentioned it, it seemed really obvious, but I think that’s how most people must feel about finally realizing their calling or at least their next step. I had just turned 30 and was single. I spent my 20’s off and on being in relationships and had grown a lot through the years to actually enjoy my singleness. That is not to say that there were not days that the idea of being 30 and unmarried didn’t overwhelm me, because it did.
I like to say that when it rains it pours when it comes to dating, does anyone else feel like this? One week you have 3 potentials and then you have a 6 month dry spell. Anyways, after a particularly “rainy season” of short attempts at dating and just not feeling like anything was right, I decided that I would not go on a date until AFTER I turned 30. Gasp. (Where is my bug eyed emoji when I need him?) Don’t freak out too much, this was just a 5 month period of time. But with 30 creeping up I had started to feel the ticking on the clock and this need to find someone … It felt huge. So my break was my attempt to take control and say “I’m not WAITING for anything to happen and I am CHOOSING to be single as I turn 30.” This little commitment I made to myself freed me from so much pressure that I was putting on myself! I’ll be honest, I was seriously wondering about how I was going to tell all of the many guys who were going to ask me out that I wouldn’t be dating for a while. Well would you believe it, but not one guy asked me out. Once my ego was healed I realized that this was all God’s doing. There were even a few times that a friend told me “SO and so is interested and he is going to ask you out!” and I wondered how in the world was God going to work this out, but He did and the guys never asked me out. I mean, really, I have BIG God stuff going on here ;)
So what was I doing with all this free time and most importantly “free from guys” mindspace? I was reading through the Bible. Once I got to the Gospels I decided to slow down and began to really study it, because, I thought, these are Jesus’ words so it’s got to be pretty important. Y’all (I’m from Louisiana so I will be saying that from time to time), it was amazing. If there is one thing I would recommend to anyone desiring to grow spiritually, it would be to go all the way through the Bible. Reading it through helped me to grow in ways that I never had before. And it was the time that I felt the Lord speak a lot of the truth to me that is written in the devotional. Discalimer: the message of my devotional is not necessarily to stop dating, but if you are in a place like I was, just exhausted from the process and trying to figure out relationships, then I would definitely recommend taking some time to step away from dating and purposefully spend it growing in the Lord and just reading. Read the Bible. Read Books. Just read! Use all that extra headspace for good!
So what happened when my birthday rolled around??? Actually a couple things happened. Literally just a few days later was when I decided to write “Wholeheartedly” and it opened my eyes up to a purpose that the Lord had for me. Even the process of just writing the devotional for me was an especially intimate and worshipful time with the Lord. Then, just a week and half later, I met someone pretty special, let’s call him Mr. Wonderful. He is a picture of Christ that I never expected a man to display and I am so glad that the Lord has allowed me to experience that kind of relationship. He’s so amazing that he may have distracted me from writing this devotional months ago. If you want to know the rest of the story then you will have to keep following, because its not over yet :)
Now, let me be the first to say that I don’t think my break was a magic formula for landing a man… because it’s not. But it did give God a chance to work. I minimized the distractions and pursued Him wholeheartedly. In turn I got to see a lot of cool things that He was doing and how God was weaving everything together. But believe me… there were many years where I didn’t have a clue what the purpose was for things that I was going on. Just know that the same will be true for you too! There will come a time when you will be able to see the full picture, but in the meantime use this time to pursue the Lord wholeheartedly.